More specifically, where’s the Whoper meat? Heather and I shared a craving this weekend for a Whopper Junior®, so we stopped on the way home from church at Burger King (or BK as the kids call it). The Burger King in King of Prussia (no relation) already has a strike against it by being the only stand-alone fast food place I’ve ever seen that has no drive-through window. Frankly that’s just un-American, and I’m almost certain that it’s racist too.
As we pulled into the parking lot we wondered aloud, “are they closed?” We were the only car in the lot excluding what must have been the employees’ cars. As we parked we noticed a sign on the door that read, “No Burger Meat or Whoper Meat.” We stared in awe-struck silence at the sign for what seemed like an eternity. I finally did the only thing that made sense at the time. I retrieved the only camera I had with me (my cell phone) and snapped this photo. All the while two lonely employees stared back at me from behind the glass, both were wearing Santa Claus hats.
This sign is wrong on so many levels that there is no way I could hope to make sense out of any single piece of it. Simply put, it’s a masterpiece of gibberish. It’s a tour de force of confusion. I love that they realized they had spelled Whopper wrong, and then proceeded to respell it in what appears to be exactly the same way. Perhaps the most troubling question is why is there a distinction between burger meat and “whoper” meat? Most importantly, why in the world are they out of meat? Isn’t this supposed to be the very king of burgers?! We are all but lowly serfs in this meatless kingdom.
You’d think it couldn’t get more insane, but it does.
WWWWWWWHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I’m dying…
First of all it had to have happened to you guys.
Second of all, you and the workers were staring at each other for some time, you guys in pure awestruck and they, “meatless twice” (once for the actual meat and the other for the whooper or the lack of its other “o”).
Third of all, the sign in a super popular franchise to be written with a sharpie that mispells its most popular product is cosmic!
It’d would’ve been awesome if the “king” (y’know that dude in the commercial, the ever happy royalty of “meat”) was standing right next to you guys after you decided to leave. I think Heather’s water would’ve broken instantly.
Ohhh, I wish i’d gone, AND it’d have been perfect for a vegetarian.
This is like a chapter from a David Sedaris book, wich btw you have to read “Me talk pretty one day”. We recently lent it to Mark and Jen.
I’m thinking that this picture will soon be the ibook’s wallpaper. cheers
You know the kids working there were probably saying:
“No, stupid, if you put a second “o” it’ll be like whooooper like the word “trooper” or something…
But it says right there on the menu, 2 o’s…
Naw, our boss can’t spell for (bleep), didn’t you ever see how he dresses…”
i have typed and erased 3 different
comments for this one.
the whole thing is perfect in it’s
hilarity and needs no exposition.
so much so that, may i suggest you
dub your new blog “whopermeat.com”
and let that photo be the banner.
keep on whoppin’ in the free world.
Maybe you should just eat a Bihg Mach.
finally, i can die knowing that i have seen true beauty. thank you, Branden.
I wonder what Whopy Goldbird would do?
WWWGD